Who are you? I don’t mean your name, your titles, your job or accomplishments, or even your failures? No, I mean your true identity. Who are you, really? What motivates you – Excites you – Fulfills you – Inspires you, or better yet, what controls you?
We all tell ourselves a story about our lives, and it’s this story that actually makes up our identity. This story – either truth or lie or some mixture of both – molds our beliefs and identity. It’s not just what we believe – it’s more what those values say about me. It’s the story of the story, so to speak. What does my story mean to me personally? If I was abused as a child, what is the story I tell myself as an adult? Is it I’m flawed and in some way unlovable, or is it people will always hurt me, so never become dependent on others? Those stories can become powerful messages we replay in our heads every time we try to connect with others in life.
One of the therapy models I’ve come to appreciate (in part) is called “Narrative Therapy” and it centers on the stories we tell ourselves that ultimately mold and form our identity. It’s not so much about what has happened to us or even what we believe, but understanding how those stories affect our lives and the way in which we interact with the world around us.
For the Christian, what we believe about God, as well as how we think God sees us, greatly impacts our lives and our identity. Our faith forms the very filter by which we see and experience the world and process the trials and conflicts of everyday life. The unique and central theme of classic Christianity is that it’s the only system of faith that claims to be a gift to receive rather than a position to be earned. It’s known as the “Good News” of the gospel.
While it’s a gift we receive, how are we then to live? Within the Christian faith there is probably no greater debate than how we are to live out our walk with God. The heart of the conflict is how we wrestle with the idea of grace in light of our need to undertake good works?
In the Bible, James tells us “You have faith, and I have works. Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works” (James 2:18). For many Christians the promotion of Grace is nothing more than a license to sin. After all, isn’t it Jesus who tells us, “Truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass away from the Law, until all is accomplished” (Matthew 5:19). He also goes on to say we are to “be as perfect as our Father in Heaven” (Matthew 5:48).
The apostle Paul, on the other hand, proclaimed the gospel as it was later developed beyond that of the early Jewish believers. In his letters to the church in Galatia he writes, “Is the law, therefore, opposed to the promises of God? Absolutely not! For if a law had been given that could impart life, then righteousness would certainly have come by the law” (Galatians 3:21). What Paul is saying is the law cannot make us righteous, let alone produce life! In his letter to the Romans he states, “Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law” (Romans 8:20). Paul focuses the bulk of his ministry to the Gentiles (non-Jewish people), and his message is rather different in form and substance than the others, which only seems to fuel the debate between Law & Grace further. It seems to come down really to two options: should the focus of our Christian life be about pleasing God or trusting God?
It has been my experience – both in ministry and in private practice – that for too many Christians, harmonizing these two views seems to be a large part of their internal spiritual conflict. Or at least it leads to a skewed identity of how they see themselves before God, regardless if they are even aware of the debate. So, is God kind and loving, or is he judgmental and demanding? What does He want from me, and how can I know His Will for my life? Why do bad things happen to good people? And if God really loves me why do I feel like He doesn’t care about me?
…Any of that sound familiar?
Please Note: The purpose of this article is not to try and solve the debate here and now, but rather to help discover how one’s views on this topic drives their narrative and internal identity in Christ. How we answer the questions is really more of our personal journey of how we understand God individually.
So, which God do you believe in: the one who rewards the the righteous or the one who justifies the sinner?
Having spent a great deal of time on this and other subjects over the years, as well as having countless people sit across the room from me sharing their stories of how their faith plays out in their personal lives, I wanted to see if there was a way to map out how one’s personal faith tells their story. I wanted to see if there was a way to show how it impacts their life. As part of a project I worked on in seminary, I developed an assessment tool Christians could use to better understand not just their faith, but how it impacts their lives. Going back to the “Narrative Therapy,” it’s not just what Christians believe, but how that belief impacts their lives – the stories they tell themselves and their identity.
Understanding Your Identity in Christ
What I came up with is an instrument/quiz that scales two axes of a person’s faith by measuring between their efforts vs. God’s in two areas of their Christian experience. The first is the degree of Confidence that their salvations is either A) the work of God or B) dependent upon their efforts in some way. The second is the Control they give to either A) allow God to govern their daily lives and struggles or B) try and control things themselves in order to manipulate and change the events of their lives to what they want.
When combined, these two axes produce a visual representation of four quadrants with a goal to display how a believer may fall into varying degrees of four identities – Living in: Victory, Defeat, Arrogance, or Resentment.
You are invited to download and take the above assessment and explore your own results. It needs to be noted this is by no means a scientific instrument; rather it provides one idea of how to explore how your identity in Christ is lived out in your life. Below is a detailed description of the four quadrants.
Download and print your assessment here
Please Note: The 95% of those who have taken this end up being in parts of all quadrants. The point of the exercise is not to guilt or shame anyone, it’s to help examine your Christian identity and how it may be impacting your life. The questions are designed to challenge and stimulate your own understanding . For some of the questions there isn’t a correct answer. This is also not an assessment of who’s saved and who’s not, that’s a job left for God to decide. Personally, I believe that where there’s growth, there’s LIFE, so regardless of where you find yourself you have great hope in Him!
As always, I would love to hear your feedback on your result, as well as, get your thoughts, so please comment below to share your views.
(Read below only after taking & scoring your Quiz)
Here’s the breakdown of the four quadrants:
- Victory: Living in Christ
Oh what freedom there is for those who find their identity in Christ! People who are in this area are more likely to live in dependence on Christ for their righteousness apart from their own self-efforts. They recognize their attempts at doing good will never be enough and quit the rat race of trying to be perfect in and of themselves. They are more likely to understand the call of Romans 12:1 to allow God to live in and through them as their “reasonable act of worship.” Because their identity is found in Christ, they live their life surrendering to Him – the byproduct of their faith, rather than a religious obligation to be obtained. As a result, they see events and moments of their life as opportunities to let God write His story in the pages of their lives rather than demanding the authorship and outcome for themselves. It’s not that they don’t exercise their own free will, as they feel led, but when faced with problems or disappointment, they are more willing to give it to God – knowing He’s working all things for their good, despite how they feel. In addition, they’re able to love rather than judge the actions and intent of others. Having experienced the love of God themselves, they can reflect that love to others.
- Defeat: Living in the Wilderness
The Christian living in the wilderness strives to follow the principles of Christianity. They are often able to deny their flesh by going through all of the “right” motions. This identity is one of striving to earn and maintain a right standing with God. But the person living in the wilderness (metaphorically) fails to find confidence in the sufficiency of Christ. They struggle to depend on Christ for their righteousness apart from the law. They’re willing to yield control of their life to God’s plans, but struggle with seeking to be “good enough.” Their story is that of tiring self-effort to perform. They place their focus on attempting to please God through human efforts. When things go wrong in their life they can’t help but worry God is probably unhappy with them. They often live an isolated life of fear knowing they are not enough and hoping others don’t find out. They can have a hard time loving others because they’ve never experienced unconditional love themselves. They are always searching for, but never finding, rest from their works. Their God is small minded, performance-oriented, and meters out love based on doing, rather than just being.
- Arrogance: Living in the Flesh.
There are way too many Christians who believe the wonderful gift of grace is a credit card to spend on pursuing the desires of the flesh. “I’ll keep indulging and God will forgive me.” “Thank you, God, for your grace and mercy, but I’m going to decide when and how I live my life.” These individuals find their identity in their own humanity – the flesh. They trust that Christ’s sacrifice was sufficient for their sin, but they never really yield control of their life to Him. They keep claiming the blood that covers their sins, but they fail to submit to the lordship of Christ. Their physical desires motivate their decisions, and it’s those desires that are elevated to a place of importance over that of surrendering to Christ. They determine how they live their lives and how they’ll respond to the lemons life throws at them. Their story is a cycle of sin and repentance. They accept God’s forgiveness but fail to allow Him to live His life in and through them. Their life is marked with constant rededications that are too often short lived. When problems surface in their life, they doubt God really cares about them. They can’t really love others because they are too busy loving themselves and feeding their internal desires of the flesh.
- Resentment: Living in Legalism
The Pharisees take a lot of heat from Jesus in the Bible, but many Christians still live as they did. They place standards and laws on themselves and others in an effort to measure themselves against others and in an effort to earn love, trust, and acceptance. If following a set of rules could save us, then Calvary was a waste of time and life. Those who find their identity in legalism view those who fail to keep their rigid rules as being less than true believers. The world is black and white to the legalist, and there’s little room for grey…or grace. And it’s not just toward others, but also a destructive way to treat themselves. Legalism can only produce one of two things: self-righteousness or self-condemnation. How heart breaking to watch a person tell themselves a story of being a failure and viewing themselves as worthless because of it! When they face difficulties in life they often will become angry with God – “After all I’ve done, God owes me!” Their Christian life is expressed with anger and resentment that it isn’t better, which drives their need to justify why it’s not.
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What stories are you telling yourself? I ask again: Who are you? In what (better yet, in who) do you place your identity? If you’re a Christian struggling to accept your identity in Christ, I encourage you to reach out to a biblically trained minister or counsellor for help. This last month I did a book review on The Cure which spends some time wrestling with the conflict as to whether we should work to “please” God or simply “trust” Him. I invite you to review it Here. Maybe the ultimate purpose and meaning to life is simply finding out who we really are, in Him?
-Joel D Walton