Every time I point a finger at someone, there are four more pointing back at me. That’s how the old saying goes, right? It’s easy to look at our mates and see all of their flaws and shortcomings, isn’t it? But how easy is it to take a look within ourselves – into a figurative mirror – and examine our own hearts, words, and actions? Short answer – not easy at all, but very necessary if we are to become the mate God calls us to be. To do so means we must be willing ask the tough questions.
Written by a woman and for an audience of women, What’s It Like to Be Married to Me prompts wives to ask themselves the hard questions. Author Linda Dillow digs well beneath the surface to stir up honest answers from women to questions such as: What is Really Important to Me?, What Is It Like to Make Love with Me?, Why Do I Want to Stay Mad at You?, Am I Willing to Change My Attitude?, and What Does It Feel Like to Be My Husband?
(Note: While this book was written primarily for women, husbands can also benefit from asking themselves similar questions to these.) For a book geared primarily toward husbands, check out What Radical Husbands Do
What’s It Like to Be Married to Me can read individually or used in a group setting such as a women’s bible study class. The book includes over fifty pages of discussion questions and activities for group studies. For those reading it on their own, some chapters may take more time to digest than others as you uncover truths about who you are and the condition of your heart and mind. Some chapters may challenge and convict you as you come face to face with choices about your attitude, expectations, anger, and priorities.
You probably want to grab a journal to accompany this book as Dillow asks you to stop and make lists, notes, and reflections pretty regularly throughout the reading. Additionally, each chapter ends with something Dillow calls a “Dangerous Prayer.” I kind of really like this short prayer and its very appropriate title. It’s “dangerous” to your pride and comfort level to pray these prayers, but worth it as you seek to be transformed into the spouse God calls you to be.
Filled with golden nuggets of biblical truth and real life testimonies from wives of all ages, What’s It Like to Be Married to Me doesn’t promise to be the easiest pill to swallow – dying to oneself never is. It’s compelling and honest and practical as you’re challenged in these exercises and humbling questions.
I guess the question you have to ask yourself first is, “Am I willing to take an honest look at myself in order to better myself as a wife and better my marriage?” If the answer is, “Yes,” then you’re ready to grab yourself a copy of this book and dive in.
-Joel D. Walton