After months (which felt like years for some) of sheltering in place, many states across our nation are exploring phases for reopening and returning to life outside of their individual homes. For some this brings a giant sigh of relief, for others an incredible amount of fear, and then still there is another sector of folks who just don’t know what to think or feel or are a combination of the other two groups with both relief and fear.
I am not here to determine what we should do. (Fooled you with the title, didn’t I?) I am not part of the CDC and nor am I part of the government. Rather, I am here for your mental and emotional health (which feed into your physical well being too). I am here to help you explore what it is you fear, what it is you feel, and the choices you get to make for yourself.
Fears of Reopening vs Continuing to Shelter in Place
COVID-19 has been yet another polarizing and divisive topic for our nation, and I hope to help you bring some balance to your life and some compassion for others as you choose for yourself when and how to move forward. The opposing positions of the two extremes are based in fear. And fear is a very real and very powerful force. To better understand why they feel what they feel (or maybe what you feel), we need to take a look as to what those fears are.
The Fears of Those Pro-Sheltering
Please note this list does not represent all of the fears and opinions I have heard, but a compilation of recurring themes shared with me. Your fears may not be this extensive or your list may be longer. And that’s okay. Same storm, different boats, right? Here are the fears of those who support continuing the shelter in place:
- There is a fear for those who have auto-immune diseases or respiratory health issues. These pre-existing medical conditions have been highlighted throughout this pandemic as being susceptible.
- There is a fear for our elderly community – both by those of the age group and those who have loved ones who are elderly. There is concern for our interactions with them and carrying the sickness to them. What we watched take place in Italy where the hospitals chose to leave the elderly at home to battle the disease left many of us fearful for our parents, grandparents, and loved ones.
- This pandemic has forced us to make a lot of changes and sacrifices. It is hard and scary to feel like we have to switch back to old ways after putting new practices. When you’re told to avoid certain places for so many months, it can be scary to return to them.
- Many are afraid to return to society before a vaccine is found. They feel it’s too much of a risk or gamble and would rather wait until they know they can be thoroughly treated.
- Mass media coverage of what’s happening here and other countries’s losses has created a sense of widespread fear. While it’s very important to stay informed and educated, the non stop media coverage has drilled fear instead of hope.
- There is a fear of a second wave of illnesses and possible deaths. Those who wish to stay sheltering fear falling victim to that and fear anyone else getting sick unnecessarily.
- Also, those who want to continue sheltering in place fear being forced back to work and back into society by employers and other obligations before they are ready to do so. They feel the need to protect their health and their opinions and therefore what they perceive as their right to safety. They fear being told they have to do something that they feel is a risk to their wellbeing and others.
The Fears of Those Pro-Reopening
Again, these fears do not represent that of everyone. This is a compilation of the most common fears I have heard from this side. You may have more or less fears than what this list shows and again, that’s okay. We’re all living different circumstances.
- Those ready to reopen society fear an economic shutdown. They’ve watched business owners lose their stores and shops. They’ve experienced layoffs, furloughs, and financial agitations. While they want to stay healthy, they also want their families to stay financially secure.
- There is a fear for those with other medical conditions or who need medical treatment but aren’t getting it because they’re afraid to go to hospitals. People who should be going to the doctor aren’t often going due to fear of the virus and this has resulted in heart attacks, strokes, and other diagnoses not addressed that will result in future death simply because they won’t go get treated.
- Many fear that by obliging all of the mandates that they will help set a precedent for how our government will handle future diseases or concerns that arise.
- They fear their personal freedoms have been violated. They fear losing what they once considered to be basic rights.
- They fear we have lost perspective and have fixated on a disease that statistically has not been as fatal as other problems we face. They fear a snowball effect.
- There is a fear for an increase in substance abuse and domestic violence caused by forcing people to stay inside for these long periods of time.
- There is a fear for the impact on mental health caused by isolation from normal traffic patterns of life. People who suffer from depression or anxiety and other mental health disorders are struggling right now. People who love people with depression fear the increased risk of suicide caused by the many financial and social hardships they’re currently facing.
Finding Some Middle Ground as You Move Forward
When we talk about this topic with others we need to be able to look at the big picture and not just flattening the curve. We need to be able to empathize with one another and recognize the various walks of life we come from and how those are impacting desires to stay at home and desires to return to society.
For all of us, and especially for those stuck in the middle who aren’t sure what the right thing to do is, we must recognize that fears are based in a lack of control. To eliminate or minimize the power of fear, we must find the areas where we can regain control. Doing so will bring you a sense of stability, dignity, and assurance. Here are some things that you do get to control right now.
- You get to decide when you return to your normality or perhaps to a new normal. You may not get to decide when to return to work (unless you’re the boss), but you decide a lot of other things. You get to decide if your kids will jump back into extracurriculars or if you take a season off. You get to decide the extent of your social life and it’s okay to not have one this summer if you choose not to.
- You get to decide what makes you comfortable and what does not. And then you can choose to have honest conversations with employers, family and friends about what you are willing to do and not do right now. You get to choose accommodations for you and your family based on what you feel is safe for you and not.
- You can control supporting your health and immune system by getting proper exercise and eating a balanced diet. And you also can control getting adequate rest so that you are mentally, emotionally, and physically prepared to make the best decisions for you.
- You get to choose to continue following the CDC guidelines that are laid out for us. You regain a sense of control when you practice social distancing, wearing gloves, and wearing masks. Even if they are not mandatory in some places, you get to decide if you want to keep wearing them for your own peace of mind.
- You get to decide what you expect from you.
- You can control the voices coming at you and the volume you allow them to speak. Meaning, if the media is scaring you, you can choose to cut off the television or take a break from social media. If you have people with opposing views making demands of you, you get to choose the extent to which you listen to them. Boundaries can serve their purpose in protecting your mental health. Social distancing can be for more than just keeping COVID-19 away.
- You now have a wider variety of options available for staying home. You can choose if you feel safe going to the store or if you want to use grocery delivery services. When your church service resumes meeting together, you can choose to attend of stay home and keep streaming an online service (God loves you and appreciates your worship either way). If your job allows, you can choose to continue utilizing Zoom and all of these other programs a lot of us have had to master to work from home during this pandemic.
- You get to choose to take YOUR time, re-enter at YOUR pace, and adhere to YOUR comfort level.
We do not know what the future will hold or when COVID-19 will go away or if/when there will be a vaccine. Uncertainty is scary, so let’s focus on the thing we can control. If you find yourself overwhelmed by fear – on either side – I’d like to help you find some freedom from that. There are many ways in which we will need to heal from COVID-19, and it’s not just physically and economically. I’m here for you as we heal mentally and emotionally also. The time to start that is now. Contact me and let’s start mending.
– Joel