When a family court orders reunification counseling, it reflects a legal determination that reestablishing a relationship between a child and their estranged parent serves the child’s best interests. This article aims to guide custodial parents through the purpose of such counseling, the importance of compliance, and the potential consequences of parental alienation.
Understanding Reunification/Reconnection Counseling
Reunification counseling is a therapeutic process designed to repair and strengthen the relationship between a child and a parent from whom they have become estranged. This estrangement may result from various factors, including high-conflict divorces, prolonged absence, or negative perceptions formed during separation. The counseling process focuses on:
- Healing Emotional Wounds: Addressing feelings of abandonment, anger, or confusion the child may harbor.
- Improving Communication: Facilitating open and honest dialogue between the child and the estranged parent.
- Rebuilding Trust: Establishing a foundation for a healthy and supportive parent-child relationship.
It’s crucial to recognize that reunification counseling is not an evaluation of parental fitness or custody arrangements. The court has already determined that ongoing contact with the estranged parent is beneficial for the child, barring any verified safety concerns.
Custody Evaluations vs. Reunification Counseling: Key Differences
It’s important to understand the clear distinction between a custody evaluation and reunification counseling:
- Custody Evaluations are formal assessments performed by a court-appointed evaluator. They gather information, interview parties, observe parent-child interactions, and make recommendations to the court about custody and visitation arrangements based on the child’s best interests.
- Reunification Counseling is therapeutic, not investigative. The therapist’s role is to heal and restore the parent-child relationship, not to re-evaluate parental fitness or re-argue custody matters. The therapist cannot change the court order based on concerns raised during counseling unless significant safety issues emerge.
Limits of Confidentiality and the Role of the Custodial Parent
Because reunification counseling is therapy, it carries the typical protections of therapist-client confidentiality. However, important limits to confidentiality exist:
- Therapists are mandated reporters and must report:
- Disclosure of abuse (physical, sexual, emotional abuse of a child)
- Immediate safety threats (such as suicidal ideation, threats of violence, or clear evidence of coercive control)
Barring these types of safety issues, the therapist must honor the confidentiality of the therapeutic relationship with the child and estranged parent. This means they cannot disclose therapeutic conversations to the custodial parent nor can they be called to testify unless subpoenaed and ordered by the court.
Real Concerns vs. Court Orders: Knowing the Difference
It is understandable that a custodial parent may have real and heartfelt concerns about their child’s emotional safety, past history, or the other parent’s behavior. While these concerns can and should be shared respectfully with the therapist at the outset of the process, the therapist’s role is not to investigate or halt the reunification process based on these concerns alone.
Unless a major new safety issue arises during therapy itself, the therapist is legally bound to follow the court’s order.
If a custodial parent believes that reunification counseling should not proceed, the appropriate course of action is to seek legal advice and petition the court for a modification of the order — not to inject themselves into or attempt to control the therapeutic process.
The Role of the Custodial Parent
As the custodial parent, your support and cooperation are vital to the success of reunification counseling. Your responsibilities include:
- Facilitating Participation: Ensuring the child attends counseling sessions and encouraging their engagement.
- Maintaining Neutrality: Avoiding negative comments about the estranged parent that could influence the child’s perceptions.
- Supporting the Process: Reinforcing the importance of the counseling and the value of repairing the parent-child relationship.
Undermining the counseling process, whether through overt actions or subtle cues, can hinder progress and may be viewed unfavorably by the court.
The Impact of Parental Alienation
Parental alienation occurs when one parent, intentionally or unintentionally, influences a child to reject the other parent without legitimate justification. This behavior can have profound and lasting effects on a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. Research indicates that children subjected to parental alienation may experience:
- Low Self-Esteem and Self-Hatred: Struggling with feelings of unworthiness and internal conflict.
- Trust Issues: Difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships.
- Depression and Anxiety: Increased risk of mental health disorders.
- Substance Abuse: Higher likelihood of engaging in addictive behaviors.
Research Reference:
A 2020 study published in the Journal of Forensic Sciences found that children exposed to parental alienation behaviors exhibited significant increases in depression, anxiety, and substance use rates compared to non-exposed children. (Harman, J., Kruk, E., Hines, D., 2020)
These outcomes underscore the importance of preventing alienation and promoting positive relationships with both parents.
Legal Implications of Non-Compliance
Failure to comply with court-ordered reunification counseling can lead to serious legal consequences, including:
- Contempt of Court: Legal penalties for disobeying a court order.
- Custody Modifications: Potential changes to custody arrangements unfavorable to the non-compliant parent.
- Loss of Credibility: Diminished standing in future legal proceedings.
It’s essential to adhere to the court’s directives and demonstrate a commitment to your child’s best interests.
Supporting Your Child Through the Process
To aid your child during reunification counseling:
- Encourage Open Communication: Invite your child to express their feelings and concerns without judgment.
- Provide Reassurance: Affirm your love and support, emphasizing that the counseling aims to enhance their well-being.
- Model Positive Behavior: Exhibit respect and cooperation regarding the counseling process and the estranged parent.
Your attitude and actions significantly influence your child’s experience and the overall effectiveness of the counseling.
Conclusion
Reunification counseling serves as a pathway to healing and strengthening the parent-child bond. As a custodial parent, your active participation and support are crucial to facilitating a successful outcome. By embracing the process, you contribute to your child’s emotional health and uphold the court’s commitment to their best interests.
If you have ongoing concerns about the appropriateness of reunification counseling, the appropriate course of action is to seek advice from your attorney and pursue any legal remedies available. The therapist cannot and should not be used as a substitute for court proceedings or legal action.
-Joel Walton
References
- Harman, J. J., Kruk, E., & Hines, D. A. (2020). Parental alienating behaviors: An unacknowledged form of family violence. Journal of Forensic Sciences.
- The Impact of Parental Alienation on Children. Child Rights NGO.
- The Devastating Effects of Parental Alienation. Psychology Today.
- Parental Alienation Syndrome: What Is It and How Does It Affect Kids? Parents.com.
- Parental Alienation as a Form of Emotional Child Abuse. Wikipedia.