Rebuilding a broken marriage is a tough task that requires a great deal of self-sacrifice and perseverance. That’s why I like how Dr. Gary Chapman ends each of his 11 chapters in One More Try: What to do When Your Marriage is Falling Apart. After tackling topics around broken dreams, changing yourself to change your marriage, turning to God, loneliness and anger, and more, Chapman ends the chapter with what he calls “Growth Assignments.” These assignments are applicable steps to take to start taking truthful looks at you and your marriage and making changes now.
Chapman is a fairly famous Christian writer and you may be familiar with his book The Five Love Languages, but this was a book I’d never read before. It’s true to Chapman’s style: practical, applicable, biblically accurate, and written in vocabulary anyone can understand. These are all things I can get behind.
As an advocate for living a mended life and using failure as a springboard for a better future, I especially am drawn to his following words: “You are made in the image of God. You have tremendous value. Your abilities are many….Certainly you have experienced failure. Who hasn’t? But that does not mean that you are a failure. You will be a failure only if you choose to fail. On the other hand, if you choose to succeed, nothing, including your feeling of inferiority, can keep you from your goal. (page 45)”
One More Try helps you to manage the feelings that coincide with marital strife and separation” frustration, anger, and loneliness. Chapman also encourages you to seek out pastoral and counselor care (both of which you’ll get in a seminary trained Christian counselor). Chapman outlines the need to renew faith in God and trust in your spouse so you can begin rebuilding your marriage from ground zero. And if the worst case scenario happens – your spouse chooses not to reconcile– Chapman offers biblical truths and trained guidance for that too, even down to what to tell the kids.
Our marriages are our most important earthly relationships. They deserve not just ‘one more try’, but seven times seventy tries (sounds familiar?). Someone once ask, “How long should I keep fighting for my marriage?” …As long as it takes! Chapman doesn’t hesitate to share how this will take time and extra miles of effort, so now is the time to get started on it. He poses the question: Are you willing to try? That’s the first decision to make. Are you willing? If so, grab a copy of this book and reach out to a trained professional.
-Joel Walton
Purchase Here!