When I was a child, a Frosty the Snowman tree topper adorned our Christmas tree each year. It was nothing special, in fact, it was just three styrofoam balls glued together with pinned on eyes and nose. He wore a little black top hat and had round, black buttons down his torso. In the mind of a small child, our Frosty tree-topper was magical, and the crowning moment of the holiday was when Dad lifted Frosty to his rightful place upon our tree.
As the years passed, Frosty started looking more and more tired. Then came the year Frosty finally fell apart. I was in the military at the time and my mother – knowing I was coming home on leave – ran to the local craft store and found new styrofoam balls, the same size as the old one, and lovingly rebuilt Frosty to his former glory. To this day, Frosty is still a part of our family Christmas. In fact, when I had my own family we ended up making another Frosty to put on our own tree. And so the tradition lives on. Christmas just isn’t Christmas without Frosty taking his place on the tree. The joking battle still rages between my siblings and me, “Who’s getting “Frosty” in the will?”
5 Important Roles of Family Traditions
I bet you have a similar story. Some family tradition you can tell stories of and look back on fondly. I bet you probably even smile when you think about it or talk about it. You see, traditions actually benefit individuals and our families in many ways. Here are just a few:
#1. Traditions give us a sense of identity.
Research shows children with family traditions are more self-confident than those without strong traditions. This is because traditions provide a sense of identity. They remind us what family we belong to, what culture and heritage we came from, and teach us to be proud of the events and history that have shaped us. Whether the tradition is based in your family’s cultural background or religious beliefs, traditions connect us back to where and who we came from.
Traditions communicate to family members they are important, loved, and valued, and the family wouldn’t be complete with him/her. Likewise, traditions place an importance on YOU. Traditions don’t carry themselves on. It’s up to you continue them. Practicing family traditions puts your thumbprint on your family’s history.
#2. Traditions unite generations.
While generational gaps can separate grandchildren, parents, and grandparents on preferences, technology, and even communication, traditions connect family members of all ages and are something to unite on. They provide face-to-face engagement in a very busy world and bond family members that might not have otherwise. When you take the time to cherish one another, talk face-to-face rather than screen to screen, and laugh and smile together, well, your brain’s “happy” center ranks off the charts!
#3. Traditions heighten excitement about the season.
Practicing our traditions reminds us what time of year it is and give us something to look forward to. They extend the excitement beyond just the holiday into excitement over all that surrounds it. For some, Christmas is more than just a day – it begins 3 weeks prior when mom calls everyone in to hang their special ornaments on the tree. The hustle and bustle of preparing a huge Thanksgiving meal is not so burdensome because there’s excitement for the family’s annual Thanksgiving Day touch football game.
#4. Traditions offer comfort and memories.
In an ever-changing world and in our ever-changing lives, traditions offer a constant. A preservation. An opportunity to live in the moment and enjoy something unique to your family. They offer memories for a lifetime. It’s the time we spent together that will stick with us, rather than the gifts we bought one another.
Furthermore, carrying on traditions when a loved one has passed helps us preserve their memory. We remember the times we shared the tradition with that family member and it comforts us. It’s as if a part of them lives on through the tradition. Baking grandma’s famous cookies allow familiar aromas and tastes to carry us back to our time spent with her. A fond memory can actually combat loneliness.
#5. They reinforce family values.
Family traditions remind us of what’s important to our family – what we value. An annual extended family potluck reminds us that gathering together is important and how we value time together. Saying grace before dinner reminds us our faith is important to our family. Family summer vacations each year teach us the importance of the family unit and the value of each member.
How to Merge Your Family Traditions
Unfortunately, aspects of the holidays such as family traditions can be a sensitive subject for newlyweds or blended families. Why? Because each spouse or each family carries with it a history of their own traditions and this new family unit must figure out how to make it work. Here are some helpful tips for merging your family traditions.
Communicate and Plan
Share your family traditions with one another. Talk about your favorite memories and what you love about these traditions. You’ll likely learn something new about each other and you’ll get to hear the joy those traditions bring to your new mate or step-child as they recount the stories to you.
Once you’ve reminisced and shared with one another, make a plan (well before the holidays). If you’re a newlywed couple, decide which traditions to carry on in your own marriage. If you are a blended family, discuss which traditions will bring comfort and acceptance to the new spouse and stepchildren. Seek to make each new family member feel welcomed, valued, and included.
Compromise & Be Flexible
It may be unrealistic to include everyone’s traditions. Prioritize the ones you’re carrying into the family that are musts, and let the unimportant ones go. Find ways to modify old traditions for your new family. Perhaps you can blend two similar traditions. If both families are used to spending Christmas morning at grandpa and grandma’s each year with all of the aunts, uncles, and cousins, consider alternating years.
Even if you think your new mate’s family traditions are silly, be prepared to compromise and include aspects of it. Avoid asking family members to give up traditions important to them.
Make New Ones
It’s wonderful to carry on the traditions of our families, but be sure to create your own new ones. Give your children something new to look forward to and something new to carry on in the future – your own thumbprint on your descendants. As a family unit, explore fun, fresh ideas together to implement in the future. Everyone will enjoy putting their own spin on things! Most importantly, you’ll have something unique and original for your new, unique family.
Whatever you decide to do, do it and enjoy it! Now, has anyone around here seen my Frosty tree topper???
-Joel Walton