Is your relationship doomed to fail? Does your marriage have an expiration date stamped on it? Aside from one of you expiring, of course.
I recently read an article at PsychologyToday.com regarding the divorce of Al and Tipper Gore. Author Susan Pease Gadoua posed a question others have asked: “After 40 years of marriage, how can they be getting a divorce?”
It seems that only yesterday we all witnessed “The Kiss” – the infamous moment caught at the 2000 Democratic National Convention when both Al and Tipper seemed so deeply in love. Now, we wonder, “What happened?”
The Gores claim there was no indiscretion, such as an affair, that caused the demise of their marriage.
So, why did these high school sweethearts decide to call it quits? Gadoua suggests that maybe the marriage had just run its course. She ponders, “What if marriages have life spans, just like all living creatures do?”
A Marriage is Like a Houseplant
Instead of a “creature,” let’s compare a marriage to that of a houseplant.
Like a houseplant, if marriages are not watered, fertilized, or receive enough light, they will wither. If neglected long enough, both plant and marriage will perish. However, you have time to heed the warning signs.
When you notice that the plant is wilting, spots are appearing, or an infestation has developed, you need to step up your game. Intervene and repair the damage. If you continue to ignore the warning signs, you are headed for a loss.
I do not expect a houseplant to thrive if conditions are poor. It needs TLC, just as a marriage does.
So, how do you keep your marriage hydrated, fertilized and infestation free? Beyond the bare minimums, we must keep in mind that marriages and plants, have different needs to thrive. Thus, when my husband is “wilting,” things that I do to “hydrate” him might be different than what your mate requires. What my mate does to bring “light” to my days is specific to my needs.
It is our job to find out what our relationship needs are, and to meet them.
“Do marriages have an expiration date?” No. However, a marriage will expire if it is not watered, fertilized, and given enough light.
-Kimberly Walton