What is it about failure we’re so afraid of? We are often afraid to try because we’re afraid we may fail. The truth is, we often learn more in failure than we ever learn in success. My prayer for this article is not to glorify failure, or to make light of it, but to ultimately see the success that comes from our failures.
In my years on this earth, I have met many people and heard many stories. Let me tell you, I have known some people who have seriously screwed up! (I’ve screwed up too.)
I knew a guy who once told one of his best buddies he’d be there for him no matter what, and then in the next breath turned around and stabbed him in the back. Another time, I knew a guy with incredible athletic ability. He was the spectacle of health and fitness. But he came crashing down into a pile of rubble after getting caught up in a romantic rendezvous with the wrong woman. And I know the story of a man who slept with one of his employee’s wives, got her pregnant, and then had the employee murdered so that he could have the wife all to himself.
You’ve probably known these people too. Their names are Peter, Samson, and David.
And the list could’ve gone on and on. The Bible is filled with page after page of human beings just like you and me who fail. They screw up, make mistakes, and cause messes. But many of these same Bible characters are labeled “heroes.” How? WHY!? I’ll tell you why – because they didn’t stay down. They stumbled and fell, but they got back up. And they handed their weakness to God and became vessels of His strength.
Peter became a great preacher whose words changed from denying to confirming. Samson grew back the hair that had been cut and had one more mighty attack on the Philistines. And King David was labeled a man after God’s own heart. They became mighty movers and shakers for the kingdom, even though they weren’t perfect. Failure didn’t cripple them. It launched them further into faith.
Isn’t it time we do the same?
Changing the Mindset of Failure
President Theodore Roosevelt is quoted with saying, “The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.” Why do we pressure ourselves and beat ourselves up when we make mistakes? Why do we place expectations of perfection on ourselves when the God who wove together our very being doesn’t even expect that?
There’s a difference between failing and being a failure. People fail. We’re human and each of us will continue to fail, until the day we run into the open arms of Christ in Heaven. Failing is okay. Yes, I repeat: failing is okay. As long as you get back up! Being a failure is to stay down. And that is the place we must move from.
It’s time we change our mindset on failure. Failing is an opportunity to hand my mistakes over to God and let Him hand me back His righteousness. It’s the most unfair exchange in history, but it works in my favor always. When I make mistakes, it’s another chance to dive into the vast, endless ocean of grace.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Grace and forgiveness are not a credit card giving you permission to run out and charge sin debt. Grace and forgiveness are the generous benefactors that step in when the First Bank of Satan is ready to repossess your life. Failure is the opportunity to change our identity. From that of screw-up to that of redeemed. And let me tell you, there are few things as wonderful as being labeled redeemed.
Someone with the identity of failure looks and sees only himself. This identity will always disappoint. We will always find something about ourselves that we regret or fall short on. But someone who is bold enough (and wise enough) to trade out their identity for that of redeemed, well, that person sees righteousness in the mirror. Instead of looking down at guilty, blood stained hands, he sees the nail-pierced hands of Christ’s redemption and sanctification.
We are not left alone in our failures. God meets us there. And He tells us to shake it off and get back up. No, God is not your grade school baseball coach telling you to suck it up, but Jesus DID tell his disciples how to handle failure. When prepping his disciples for the tough road ahead of witnessing and testifying throughout other cities, he told them, “If people do not welcome you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave their town, as a testimony against them.”(Matthew 10:14) In saying “shake the dust from your feet,” Jesus is telling them not to sulk and pout in self pity for an unsuccessful attempt. Rather, shake it off and move forward. Head onto the next task. Witness to the next city. Take the next job and try there. Commit to the next marriage and honor God through it. Stay sober the next time. Whatever your failure may be (because it’s unique to each of us), shake it off and move forward. Our identity should never be in our success or our failure, but in Christ!
The Benefits of How God Uses Failure
Yes, you read that right…benefits. I’d like to offer you four major benefits, so you can be assured there is no waste in failure.
#1. For the benefit of others.
2 Corinthians 1:4 tells us God comforts us in our hurt so we can turn around and comfort others who experience the same thing. Your mistakes provide a light for those walking (or crawling through) the same path. No one understands the pain of adultery like a couple who have experienced it before. No one can affirm your future healing from addiction like someone who has been an addict. That’s why many of the AA and NA sponsors are former users. They’ve been there. And look at the healing they help provide. God never wastes a failure, if only you’ll let Him work through you. Imagine the lives you can teach and the futures you can alter by being support, love, and assurance for someone else who falls.
#2. The nearness of God.
Often our failure drives us back to the loving arms of our Father. It’s easy as Christians to just check the boxes of our faith by doing all the “things” we think we need to be doing to maintain that right relationship with God. We can easily fool ourselves by thinking we aren’t that bad. The gift of failure is it exposes our fleshly nature by causing us to come face to face with our shortcomings. Sadly for too many, they run from God instead of running straight toward His loving arms. When we fail and cry out to Him, He meets us right where we are. He never expects us to clean ourselves up before coming to Him. He wants to take part in it. The closeness of God that follows us when we’ve screwed up, is a breath of fresh, life giving air…especially compared to the lonely darkness that often leads us to some of our biggest mistakes.
#3. Growing in wisdom.
There’s a reason elderly folks are often deemed wise. They’ve lived and learned. They’ve experienced life and gained wisdom. The experience of your mistakes and failures gives you wisdom, an attribute given esteem in the Bible. Wisdom is gained by learning from others (benefit for you of THEIR mistakes) and by learning it first hand. Rather than viewing your mistakes as the pit you fell into, view them as the map that tells you future pits to avoid. Be grateful for learned lessons (no matter how many times you have to re-learn them).
#4. Understanding it’s all the work of God.
Over the years, as we grow in our Christian experience, we begin to better understand, through our failure, how much we rely daily on His Grace. Not only to save us, but to keep us as well. It wasn’t our self-effort that redeemed us, nor is it self-effort that keeps us saved. We come to Christ by faith, and by faith we live daily in Him. Grace isn’t a license to sin, (clearly we don’t need that, most of us don’t make it out of the house in the morning without falling short in some way), but it’s about understanding our identity in Christ first and foremost. Failure shows us our need for Christ, not just for salvation, but also for daily living. We are told that we can “boldly” go before the throne of Grace in our hour of need. (Heb 4:13) We don’t need grace when we’re doing everything right; we need it when we’ve failed!
Throughout my life I’ve failed at many things, some from bad decisions, some from the twist of fate, while some were the cause of others. In each of these cases there has always been something I needed to learn. Likewise in all of those cases, Christ was with me always. The whole idea behind the Mended Life is to help others understand their identity in Christ and to help them find hope, happiness, and healing in the midst of their struggle. If you’re struggling to see the value in your life’s shortcomings or mistakes, let’s connect.
In Christ, I believe we are free to fail without ever being a failure!
-Joel Walton